How They Didn't Meet
by the2marauders
Summary: Basically a bunch of one-shots about how Lily and James meet that don't really have anything to do with anything. Because I simply love them.


I own none of the characters.

Everything else is mine though :}

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Lily grabbed the keys off of the hook and locked up before heading over to her car. She ran once more through the mental list she'd made for tonight's dinner, adding a bottle of wine to the end of it. She turned on the cassette player and beamed as the car filled with the sweet voice of Billie Holiday, her mum's favorite, and pulled out of the parking lot behind her building.

It was a beautiful day -the sun out, not a cloud in sight, but a cool wind rustling the green leaves and stirring up the summer air. Children played in parks and rolled down walkways, couples sat on the grass or on benches, holding hands and grinning stupidly at one another, some families played in front of their homes, jumping into and over and under the water of their yellow sprinkler. Lily let the windows roll down, even opened the sunroof, wanting to feel the happiness of such a day.

She found parking with ease and grabbed the cart that someone had left in the spot next to hers. She rolled it into the grocer's and left it empty for merely a minute before filling it with food and supplies, mentally checking off each bullet point. After choosing her favorite pasta for the dish she had planned, she headed over to the meats and picked up some chicken breasts. Last on her list, the wine. She found her favorite with ease and headed towards the registers.

And truly, she had meant to head straight over there. But the desert tables were calling out to her, blowing their sweets scents at her, and so she took a short detour.

She'd told herself that she was going to cut down on sugar, give the sweet tooth a breather, but who was she kidding when there was only one box of her favorite left, sitting there, staring at her, calling her with the large sale sign above the original pricing. Yes, the chocolate cream pie with a cookie crust and a cookie crumble on top, her absolute favorite.

Her fingertips barely ran over the box before it disappeared beneath her loving, longing gaze.

"Hey!" She shouted indignantly before even giving the thief a good look. Instead, her eyes followed the strong hand that had stolen the pie out of hers and watched it lay the pie into the little basket his other hand carried. The basket was full of ice cream and macaroni and cheese and frozen pizza and chips and beer and now her beloved pie.

She looked up a few moments later after realizing she'd been staring at the pie in his basket for far too long. Instead, now she looked into conceited hazel eyes behind black specs. She shifted her weight to one leg and crossed her arms.

"That's my pie," Lily said, her eyes shifting to it once more, then back to the man ruining her beautiful day. She looked at him expectantly, hoping for some sort of human reaction, an apology of some sort.

"Is your name Clark?" He asked instead in a low timbre, chuckling to himself.

"No, my name is not Clark," Lily said dryly, "What kind of a stupid question is that?"

"Well, if you're name isn't Clark then I don't see your name anywhere on this box. So therefore, you were simply much too slow in fetching the last one. Bollocks for you, I'm afraid." And then he proceeded to turn around and try to stalk away.

Lily, in an absurd fire that she hadn't expected, grabbed hold of his arm and yanked him back around. He rolled his eyes before crying out in pain for Lily had -luckily- accidentally stomped on his stupid foot.

"Oh whoops," Lily said quite unapologetically. She removed her foot from atop his and unlaced her fingers from around his muscular arm.

They were quite close, and Lily allowed herself to admire just how beautiful this despicable shopper was. He had hair darker than night, arranged in a complete disarray, or maybe not arranged. Maybe it was simply a roll-out-of-bed look. He _was_ buying what appeared to be hangover food so that assumption didn't seem far fetched to Lily. Whatever it was, it was sexy, and she couldn't imagine what he'd look like when he tried. He wore shorts and a light blue t-shirt that clung to him.

He was fit.

He was still despicable.

But suddenly Lily felt self-conscious of her greasy bun. She had planned on washing her hair after her chores and before her date tonight. Now, not only was she the bird who probably broke his toe, she was the _ugly_ bird who probably broke his toe.

She shook her head and took another step away from him.

"Look, it's just that I'm making this great dinner tonight, and that pie would simply be the best ending to it. It's my favorite. So if you could find it in you to, well, uh, give it to me… It'd be much appreciated." Lily shrugged and gave what she hoped was a friendly, almost flirtatious smile.

"I'll tell you what," he said, narrowing his eyes at her flirtatious smile, "I'll give you this pie-"

Lily's eyes brightened and reached for the box that the man was again holding in his hands. He pulled it behind him.

"IF!" His eyes bulged, but his mischievous smile gave away the seriousness he wished to convey, "If -" he said again, "-you let me have a slice or two at dinner."

"What?" Lily asked immediately, dumbfounded.

"What?" The man mimicked mockingly.

"You want to come over for a slice of pie?"

"Well, I was thinking I'd come over for dinner and _then_ we'd have a slice of pie." He was smiling again. Less mischievous. Now more flirtatious.

"Dinner is a date tonight."

"Oh, well I just meant as maybe two new friends getting to know one another, but if you'd like to call it a date-"

"No no no. I have a date tonight. With another man. And I'm making food. And I want that pie. For me. And for him. Not you."

"Oh. I see." He brought his hand up to his chin, pretending to think. Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"Yes. You cannot have it."

"Why-"

"Actually, _he_ cannot have it. If _you_ want this pie, you can have your little dinner date thing, but afterwards you can come meet me. At the pub at the end of the block, or my place if you'd like. I promise to not even take one bite of this pie before you get there."

Lily was speechless.

And then she was not.

"You complete wanker. If you think that I'm going to go out with some rude, obnoxious _stranger_ for some bloody pie, then you are out of your sodding mind!"

"You kiss your mum with that mouth, Clark?" He teased.

"You are insufferable. I don't even _know_ you, and you are _insufferable_ to me! I hope you have a bloody good time getting knackered tonight by yourself, jacking off to your own bloody reflection, you conceited bastard, among the mounds of shit food that you won't be able to eat because who in their right bloody mind can eat all of that shit? I'll tell you. No one. So TAKE the bloody pie, because I'll be having a wonderful evening with Stephen, WITHOUT the pie!"

And Lily went to storm off, but this time, _he_ grabbed ahold of her.

" _What?_ " Lily asked very rudely.

"What's your real name, Clark?" He said, with a little mischief still in his voice.

"Lily," she answered agitatedly, unaware she'd decided to do so. And she _didn't_ know why she told him. "Now, take your bloody pie and leave me be," and she tried to yank her hand out of his grasp, but he held her there.

"Lily, " he breathed to himself. And then he smiled and looked up at her. "Please meet me tonight. 11 o'clock at the pub. I'll-" his eyes scrunched up for a moment, "-be the one jerking off to my own reflection among mounds of shit. Did I get that right?" He laughed.

And Lily just stared at him for a while. A little in shock. Not sure if she should be offended or flattered. Or maybe both.

And then she started slowly, "The knackered one jerk-"

"Ah yes. The _knackered_ one jerking off to my own reflection among mounds of shit."

Lily laughed lightly and looked at his determined face.

"So what do you say?"

And once again, before she even knew what she was saying, "I _do_ love that pie-"

And there he went grinning that devilishly handsome smile again. Lily felt the butterflies explode.

"Great." He let go of her hand. "I'll see you tonight." And he marched purposefully away to the register, purchasing the chocolate cream pie.

And Lily went on her way and purchased the items in her cart.

The rest of the day was sort of a blur. She prepared dinner and tidied up her loft. She took a shower and got dressed. She had dinner with Stephen and sent him home with a box of leftovers rather than a kiss.

And then she went upstairs and she changed. And then she changed again. And then once more, finally liking what she saw in the reflection.

Confidence.

Sexiness.

She drove to the pub, the windows open, her hair running wildly over her face. As she walked past the window near the front, she appreciated her own disarray.

She walked into the pub, turning a few heads down to her long, tan legs that showed beneath her black dress, but she didn't notice. She only saw him. Well, his messy head, for he was facing away from the door.

She walked over, her heels clicking with each step, and as she approached the table, she spotted the pie and a couple of plates sitting patiently, untouched. She smiled to herself.

He looked up at her once he recognized that someone had stopped at his table and the look of awe on his face made her blush. She took a seat, cozying up beside him, smiling stupidly at him, him smiling stupidly at her.

"I'm James."

"Mm. I like that."

"Yah?" Lily hummed her appreciation. "Well, _I_ like that dress. And your hair. It's very red and untamed, like fire." His eyes looked down to watch her lips curl up into a smile.

She noticed.

"How about some pie? Quite rude, making a bloke wait _all_ day." He said it so exaggeratedly, she rolled her eyes.

He grabbed a fork and just dug straight into it, lifting up the most perfect bite. He brought it to her mouth, and she raised an eyebrow at him before opening up.

The pie was delicious, creamy and cold, as if it hadn't been sitting out for hours.

"Oh, you've got something right here-" And he cupped her face with one hand, using his thumb to wipe away a bit of chocolate cream. He brought it to his mouth and licked it off.

Lily barely held it together.

He noticed.

He smiled, and then proceeded to cut two slices of pie and place them on their own separate plates.

Lily admired him as he did so. He wore dark blue jeans with a tear at the knee and a tight black t-shirt. And cologne. He smelled divine.

And then they ate their slices of pie. And they laughed and chatted about nothing and everything. And they had a few beers and his hand ended up tracing circles on her thigh, sometimes switching to her hand and tugging at her fingers, interlacing a few of theirs together. And she smiled a lot. And he loved it.

And at the end of the night, she sent him home with the leftovers.

And one hell of a kiss.

* * *

Well, there's once shot number one. I have a number of ideas for other ones, but if you have anything you'd like to see, leave it in the comments or in a message, and I'll see what I can stir up!  
Happy holidays!

-the2marauders


End file.
